I Know I Did Not Sign-Up For This......

I knew that the only thing that was predictable about international adoptwaiting was that it was unpredictable. I thought I knew what unpredictable meant. The past few weeks have educated me more than I would have liked on what unpredictable really means.

The short version is that the MOWA (Ministry of Women and Children’s and Youth Affairs) writes a letter for every adoption that takes place. The MOWA has announced that they would be going from about 50 letters a day to 5. Rather than repeat everything that has transpired. You can click here to read the news article about the adoption slowdown. You can click here to read more about the slowdown and responses to the slowdown. As you can imagine going from 50 to 5 is drastic and most likely will cause major delays. There are still a lot of unknowns and at this point not a lot of answers. This is exactly the kind of information that crazy girl LOVES to run with. She loves to focus on unknowns and conjure up more “what if’s” than I thought possible. Trust me crazy girl has had a field day with this information.

I don’t know about you, but when I am facing a lot of unknowns it can be hard to keep control of crazy girl simply because there is so much unknown.  But at this point, if I can be frank, I am over her. So rather than talk about unknowns I want to focus on the truths that I do know, that sometimes can get lost in the sea of unknowns.

I do know that God is still God and He is in control. None of this is a surprise to Him. God is faithful and He is trustworthy. He has never let go of Jeff and I during this process; He certainly is not going to leave us now. He loves Jeff, the boys and I more than I have words to explain and more than I can understand. He did not make this happen, though equally true He is allowing it to happen. He is not allowing this happen because I need to learn something. However, that does not mean that I won’t learn something trough it.  He is not in heaven saying, “Tracy needs to learn……..I will cause………..He is for us. He will get us through this. It might not be the way I prayed, the way I planned or even in the timeframe I was hoping. God is answering my prayers even if the answer is not what I want it to be.

Knowing these truths and living them out in the midst of difficulty is where the rubber meets the road. I am always surprised at how long it takes my feelings to catch up to me as I attempt to put these truths in practice. At times I feel like I am a walking contradiction because my heart can be sad and at times discouraged, and at the same time hopeful and believing God.

On Wednesday I posted one of my new favorite songs Blessings. I am posting links to two more songs that have been so encouraging to me lately. Again I pray that they would do the same for you.

Kristian Stanfill - Day After Day

Chris Tomlin – Our God