I'm sure you have all heard the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day “To me adoption or adoptwaiting, as I like to call it, is very similar. I get overwhelmed at thinking about the mounds of paper work, waiting, more papers, waiting, training, fingerprints, waiting, more paper work. Then there is cost. That can get me really overwhelmed. That’s not quite right, let’s be honest, sometimes it makes me downright anxious. The kind of anxious that feels like a person who follows me around. And waits for weak moments. Or the times I think I have to do it all or that I can even do it all.
But then God. There is no other way to say it. Because He moves and does amazing wonderful things that get my focus off me and this process called adoptwaiting. And what I really love and find utterly amazing is even when I am trying to control every aspect of our adoptwaiting and trust me I have spent way to much time trying to strategizing how I can make this happen. But then God moves and does something even though, at that moment I am as far as I can be from trusting Him in our adoptwatiing process. And all I can sheepishly do is thank Him.
Yet here I am standing on the edge of the cliff called control very close to jumping off. Crazy isn't it? Our last home study meeting was September 30, 2014. Our home study social worker said it would take about 2 weeks to get written and sent to our other agency so they can add any edits they want. Then it gets sent to the State of Illinois for approval. Foolishly, I believed 2 weeks. Today is November 5. To my knowledge our home study is not completed yet. Which means it hasn't been sent to our other agency. Nor has it has not been sent to the State for approval. Word on the street is the State of Illinois is behind in approving home studies. So we are easily weeks from this being done. Sigh. In the scheme of world hunger, war, sick kids,serious illness, and relationship issues I realize an undone home study is not a big deal. I also know in my head how God's timing is perfect. I really do. Trust me you don't need to send me verses on waiting or God's timing. :) I know that God is bigger than my adoptwaiting process. I know He is bigger than two agencies that have to agree and approve our home study. I know that He is bigger than the State of Illinois being behind on approving home studies.
My head knows but then God. Today my heart is not so sure my head knows what it is talking about. :) But then my head remembered these encouraging words "For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. Amen to that!
