But Then God

I'm sure you have all heard the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day “To me adoption or adoptwaiting, as I like to call it, is very similar. I get overwhelmed at thinking about the mounds of paper work, waiting, more papers, waiting, training, fingerprints, waiting, more paper work. Then there is cost. That can get  me really overwhelmed. That’s not quite right, let’s be honest, sometimes it makes me  downright anxious. The kind of anxious that feels like a person who follows me around. And waits for weak moments. Or the times I think I have to do it all or that I can even do it all. 

But then God. There is no other way to say it. Because He moves and does amazing wonderful things that get my focus off me and this process called adoptwaiting. And what I really love and find utterly amazing is even when I am  trying to control every aspect of our adoptwaiting and trust me I have spent way to much time trying to strategizing how I can make this happen. But then God moves and does something even though, at that moment  I am as far as I can be from trusting Him in our adoptwatiing process. And all I can sheepishly do is thank Him. 

Yet here I am standing on the edge of the cliff called control very close to jumping off. Crazy isn't it? Our last home study meeting was September 30, 2014. Our home study social worker said it would take about 2 weeks to get written and sent to our other agency so they can add any edits they want. Then it gets sent to the State of Illinois for approval. Foolishly, I believed 2 weeks. Today is November 5. To my knowledge our home study is not completed yet. Which means it hasn't been sent to our other agency. Nor has it has not been sent to the State for approval. Word on the street is the State of Illinois is behind in approving home studies. So we are easily weeks from this being done. Sigh. In the scheme of world hunger, war, sick kids,serious illness, and relationship issues I realize an undone home study is not a big deal. I also know in my head how God's timing is perfect. I really do. Trust me you don't need to send me verses on waiting or God's timing. :) I know that God is bigger than my adoptwaiting process. I know He is bigger than two agencies that have to agree and approve our home study. I know that He is bigger than the State of Illinois being behind on approving home studies. 

My head knows but then God. Today my heart is not so sure my head knows what it is talking about. :) But then my head remembered these encouraging words "For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. Amen to that!

The Happenings So Far

So life happend and I got a bit behind on updating my blog. Sometimes its hard to know where to start. First, I'm starting with my husbands perspective and his words on one of the things that has been happening:

There has been a bit of a delay in writing because of a divine appoinment. Learning to love these appoinments can sometimes be difficult in any season of life. When you have an adoptwaiting timeline to keep to keep too it can get tricky. Our appoinment came in the form of a precious little lady whose smile and demeanor melted all those who saw her. What a better way to get a lesson about how I am not in control. As many of you know we spent the winter and spring with a bundle of joy pitter pattering underneath our feet as we put on the foster care hat for a season. That bundle of joy was dropped back in our lives for a few weeks unexpectedly just a couple Fridays ago. We had to scramble to get diapers and baby stuff pulled together at a moments notice. The crazy thing is that we had just gotten rid of the last baby items we had the Saturday before. In hind sight It took me a couple days to readjust myself and truly take count of what an opportunity I had to love Christ through the loving of this little appointment what could be viewed as a distraction from MY plans. But was exactly where God needed us to be at that time.

Second, after much deliberation and debate in the Hokanson house we have arrived at a name for daughter. We are bing on the meaning behind the name in our house so that played a very big part on our choosing her name. When I first read the meaning I knew this was her name. That name is Mabel Grace. Mabel means loved or lovable and Grace meaning of course grace. We think it is perfect for our girl.

Third, we had our last home study visit! What does that mean you ask? Well it means that we get to wait two weeks for it to be written. Then we get to wait while both agencies agree that it says exactly what it needs to say. Then we wait for the State of Illinois to approve it. Then we can do several things. One thing is begin to apply for adoption grants. Second, begin working on our dossier. If you want to know more about that you can read here. And we get to work on our USCIS paperwork. This involves getting fingerprinted again which we are experts so that part should be easy. :) I have learned through this whole adoptwaiting process that apparently I have "bad" fingerprints. Meaning that my ridges are worn off so to speak so they are hard to get. Pray this is not the case when we have to drive to local USCIS office to get fingerprinted.

Fourth, we continue to add pieces in our puzzle. It is exciting. If you wonder what puzzle you can read about that here.

Finally, God continues to lead us in this adoptwaiting process. The way He has orchastrted each detail and provided for us were nothing short of awesome. As we were getting ready to be done with our home study, in a true adotpwaiting has made me crazy kind of way, I was fixing to have a major anxiety attack. Okay I wasn't fixing to do it I was doing it. I was working the numbers and thought I don't know how we are going to do this. And in spite of the fact that I know better, and in spite of the fact that I was not demonstrating trust in Him, God provided the exact amount needed so we can progress to next step. I just love how He does that and I know that He will keep doing that as we do what we need to, to bring Mabel home.

Putting Together a Puzzle

When we decided to do our puzzle fundraiser I did not think about what that really meant. If you have spent more than five minutes with me you know thats how I am. Quick to jump in. Then look and think HMMM how am I going to do this. So as I opened our 1000 piece puzzle i just stared at all the pieces. How are we going to start this putting this puzzle together? The answer is simple, 1 piece at a time. My wonderful husband said look for all the border pieces first. So I did. Then I had the boys double check me and look through the pieces I just looked at. They found more borders. Then the fun of trying to put together all the pieces we found. All of this so we could do what was behind all the puzzle endeavor.

Write the names of the precious peeps who bought a puzzle piece and are helping us bring home our missing piece. Every person who has shared or shares our story, is praying for us and encourages us in this adoptwating journey is precious to me and I am thankful for your help. Our story would not be complete without you! So far we have sold 95 pieces of our puzzle. It is exciting! We are awed and humbled by peoples willing to step with us in this journey. We are 95 pieces closer to brining home our missing piece. I wanted you to see our progress. The first is the side with everyones name. The second is of the picture of what the puzzle actually looks like.

If you are wondering what this whole puzzle thing is you can read the full blog here. The basics of how to become a part of our puzzle go like this

• Here's how it works: We have a 1000 piece puzzle; every piece is part of her/our story to bring her home
• Each piece is $10
• You may choose to be one piece of the puzzle or several pieces of the puzzle.
• You can click on our DONATE button which brings you Paypal or message/email/comment and to get my address so you can mail a check
• YOUR name will be written on the back of each piece you represent
• If you are willing please share our blog and link with others who might like to be piece of the puzzle.

So thankful for all you!

Who wants to be a piece of our puzzle?

In million years I never thought I would blog, let alone ask someone to guest post for my blog. How did it happen let me tell you. I was talking with a friend about us getting ready to start our puzzle fundraiser and they explained others getting involved in adoption fundraisers so beautifully more beautifully than I could I said you should write my blog about our fundraiser. And a guest post was born. With out further introduction here is one way to view adoption fundraising. 

As an adoptive mom, the subject of costs and funding an adoption can often come up in conversation with just about anyone.  When I have spoken with parents beginning the adoption journey (for the first time or the second time), the topic of paying tens of thousands of dollars for it all will often surface.  It isn’t always the simplest topic to broach.  And, sometimes my answer seems like the “easy” cop-out answer.  God provides.  He has provided, does provide, and will continue to provide  However, that doesn’t mean that we can just sit back and watch Him do it without trying to make an effort to pay for the adoption journey He calls some of us to.  So how does a person do their part to pay the astronomical costs of adopting?  Whether it be through minimizing a budget and cutting corners, saving dimes and pinching pennies, selling big stuff or selling little trinkets, I believe God uses many avenues to provide.  Some we cannot explain at all and some we can.  One great way though is through fundraising. I truly feel that fundraising is not selfish or an “easy” solution and can serve many purposes- not just the obvious gathering of money for an adoption.  It has meaning. I was sharing some of those reasons and purposes with Tracy recently.  It was then that we decided I should be a guest blogger here to share that with you… How can fundraising for adoption be a good thing?

Let me start with some verses… 

Psalm 10:14b “…Thou hast been the helper of the orphan.”
Isaiah 1:17  “Learn to do good; seek justice, reprove the ruthless; defend the orphan, plead for the widow.”
James 1:27 “This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

1- Fundraising spreads the word about adoption.  Whether you look at the references above or the numerous others in Scripture about helping the widow and the fatherless, there is no way around it- God wants us to care for the orphan.  If someone is hosting a fundraiser, they are likely going to encourage others to join this cause, advocate for the orphans, and educate others regarding the need for adoption.  Children need families. Permanent families. PERIOD.  Fundraising lets people know that something can be done- and anybody can do it.
2- Fundraising allows other people to take part in something beautiful.

   *Someone who donates funds has become a part of that child’s life and story.  They are a piece of the puzzle that brings the family together.  Many people want to be able to help and have no idea how to do so.  Although I could go off on a list of other practical hands-on helpful things to do for adoptive families, I want to focus on funding right now. :)  Although funding the adoption- even in a small amount- might seem easy or of little importance, it is VERY meaningful and worthwhile.

    * There are so many people who want to follow God’s commands to care for the fatherless, yet they are simply not called to adopt at this time. There are certainly many other ways to care for these dear ones and participating in a fundraiser is one of them as it enables an adoption to occur.

3- Fundraising brings joy.

    While it may take all the humility the person adopting can muster to swallow their pride and ask for money, it allows someone else to receive JOY from giving and being a part of something beautiful. (And, let me just say here that adoption is beautiful. It is a rough and bumpy journey.  It starts in a very dark, sad place for our children.  Yet, no matter how that road twists and turns and dips and climbs, those children need a family to travel with them through life.  So, the act of adopting IS beautiful.)  Yes, there is JOY for the giver in a fundraiser and joy- mixed with gratitude- for the receiver. And, let’s face it, the ultimate recipient of the monetary gifts is our children.  That certainly warrants joy.  We already know that God smiles on adoption.

   God can raise the money any way He wants with or without us, but it is our job to be faithful to what He calls us.  He calls us all to care for the orphan & widow- whether by welcoming them into our home or shouldering a burden or sponsoring a child or building a relationship.  We have a duty to fulfill and fundraising can be a great way to fulfill it.

I could not have said that any better! What does our puzzle look like? 

So how do you become a part of our puzzle? 

• Here's how it works: We have a 1000 piece puzzle; every piece is part of her/our story to bring her home
• Each piece is $10
• You may choose to be one piece of the puzzle or several pieces of the puzzle.
• You can click on our DONATE button which brings you Paypal or message/email/comment and to get my address so you can mail a check
• YOUR name will be written on the back of each piece you represent
• If you are willing please share our blog and link with others who might like to be piece of the puzzle.

Once all the pieces of come together we will frame it between tow pieces of glass and hang it in our daughters room to show her all those who are a part of her story. 

Whose ready?

(Click on read more to see our donate button) 

Jumping Through Hoops Should Be Considered Exercise

Since this is not my first adoptwaiting I was ready for the great paper chase they call a home study and submitting for LOI (AKA  letter of intent).  We needed medicals. Done. We needed to fill out finacial statements. Done. Background checks Not that easy. I thought you could call the local police and request one. I did this for our first adoption. But things had changed. 10 phone calls later; I wanted to commit a crime so I could get a my background checked. I didn't, in case your wondering.

I got our background checks back from our local county and I have a problem. You see back in 2010 I was speeding. Its true, I was. I got pulled over and much to my surprise I got a warning. No ticket. Yay. Except, I did not have my current insurance card with me in the car. I had insurance cards for the past two years for both cars but not my current card. Boo. Because of this the officer gave me a warning ticket. I had to go and show my insurance card at the station. Once I did that it would all be okay. I did just that and never thought about it again. Until I got my background check back. Our agency thought that did not look good to have this dismissed lack of insurance on there. So I needed to try to get a background check without traffic violations. I knew we would have to get fingerprinted for our home study but I needed a background check sooner than that.  So I went to get fingerprinted with a private agency. 5 days later I got exactly what I needed. The clear background check I expected the first time. When we met with our home study agency I learned I needed background checks with every state I lived in since I turned 18. Plus, they need to check the child abuse registry. Plus, I need to get a child abuse registry check from New Zealand since I lived there as well. I asked our social worker if my background would get dinged for getting checked so much. She said no. :)

I thought I was in the clear for hoop jumping for a moment. When our Lifeline social worker called me and said "Just to be on the safe side" I needed to get a psychological evaluation. What? How do you even do that? Imagine making the phone calls I made. "Hello, I am in the process of adoptwaiting and  I need to get a psychological evaluation. Do you do that?" Just saying that sounds crazy. Now I have always said adoptwaiting made me crazy. I guess now they needed proof this was true. :) I found someone who has done psychological evaluations for people who are adopting and made an appointment. I figured not passing would just mean she would not let me leave that day and that they would take me away in a white coat, right there. Thankfully, that did not happen. The best part about all of this is I am actually going to get a piece of paper that says I am "normal" and not crazy. Not everybody can say that.

Jumping though these hopes reminded me how many hoops I DONT have to jump through for so many other things in my life. It made me thankful. It also reminded me when our girl is home all this hoop jumping will make it easier to chase her around. But more importantly how it will be worth it in the end.

You have a blog?

It has been almost 3 years since I last blogged. 3 Years. What??? At times I can hardly believe it. At other times it takes my breathe away at how quickly the time has passed. I would love nothing more than to tell stories and catch you up on 3 years, but lets be honest I don't read all that and it would be about me.

On September 22, 2011 we arrived at the airport in Ethiopia and began to wait to have our luggage scanned only to have to our youngest announce that he had to "shint" which means pee in Amharic. I am sure you can imagine what non-Amharic speaking people thought "shint" sounded like and how we had numerous opportunities to hear both our boys tell us that loudly. But I digress,  after finding Jeff and our oldest son in line to check in for our flight our youngest decided it was an excellent time  to play a game of chase and he ran away from us. After successfully boarding the plane, we instructed the flight attendants that unless our hair was on fire and we were screaming help us please, you can just assume that our boys have pushed the button for you to come. And push buttons they did. In our seats, in the bathroom, and even in the car on the ride home. We arrived in the US on September 23, 2011. Then the real adventure began.

The boys were 2.5 and 6.5 when they came home. Today they are 5 and 9. A kindergartner and a third grader. Sometimes it is hard to believe they are the same boys. I can't even begun to summarize the past almost 3 years into a few short sentences. Suffice to say we have all grown, made mistakes and been stretched in amazing wonderful ways. All 4 of us have stories and scars to share about the past almost 3 years to be told another day.

So what are we doing now? Well I am glad you asked. While we were fostering(you read that right we are listened foster parents)(our experience fostering and the AWESOMELY WONDERFUL foster parents we met along the way is also part of stories for another day) so where was I?  It was in the middle of that process that we knew that we wanted to add to our family. It has always been in my heart to adopt to from China. One date night I shared this vision with Jeff and he said yes, what is the process and what do we need to do? Wow, what an answer to prayer that was! We both knew we wanted to adopt a waiting child. Truthfully, I was convinced that our 3 year old child was on a waiting list. We began researching China special needs program and agencies. I met some amazing people in the process who were a huge help to me in navigating the waters of the China special needs adoption process. And then we found our girl. She is precious! We made inquiries and discovered that we could move forward in the process to adopt her without our home study completed yet, because she is what they call special focus. Which means that we move through the adoption process a little bit backwards. So we did an abbreviated short version of a the paper chase (to read more about that click here) and submitted what they call LOI or letter of intent. We then wait for China to give us PA or preliminary approval. PA means that we are approved to adopt our girl. We have 6 months to complete our home study, immigration paper work, and get our dossier to China or DTC. Sounds easy right? :)I know better.

Because our girl is with Lifeline Children's Services and they don't have an office in Illinois that means we had to get a home study agency in Illinois. Which means we get to, key words GET TO, coordinate our adoptwaiting (my word for what adoption is a great opportunity to wait) process with not 1 but 2 agencies! I am certain that this will provide numerous opportunities to trust God, surrender to God and continue to grow in my control freak recovery program.

In short we are adoptwaiting a 5 year old girl with special needs from China. We would covet your prayers for her and for us as we walk through this process. Please also pray for the financing. We will need a huge amount of money in a very short amount time. Coming soon Team Hokanson's fundraising campaign Where 1 More = 1 Less.