I have a confession to make I am a returner. In case you don’t know what a returner is, let me elaborate. A returner is someone who returns things to the store, even gifts. I can hear gasps, even though no one is in the room with me. I know it is controversial, retuning a gift. I don’t return things just to return it. I don’t do it because I am ungrateful. I don’t’ do it because I am not thankful. I do it mostly out of practical reasons. I am certain the gift giver wanted me to use the gift. I return when there is no possible way I can use said gift. I realize that is controversial as well, again I am not saying I did not like the gift. I am saying there are times when being able to return something is an okay, if not a good thing.
What I don’t like is when you can’t return a gift. Especially, when all you want to do is return it. Right now the gift I would like to return is waiting. The thing I am waiting on is our adoption. Clearly, I am over the gift of waiting. I know waiting is a gift. I do, I really do, know that. I know waiting is good. I know that when it’s all said and done it will be worth the wait. I know that I may even be glad, and thankful that I was unable to return this gift. But, I am not going to lie I don’t feel that way now, and frankly, I just want to return this gift and no one will take it back.
Wanting to return something that no one will take back well let’s just be honest it stinks. When I go somewhere else to try to return it and they say nope it can’ t be done and the share the merits of why I should not return it, I am certain they do not understand how put-a-fork-in-me-I-am-over-done with this gift. Or maybe they do know but they also know this is a non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gift and if I keep trying to return a non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gift this will prove to be an exercise in frustration.
I think the problem comes when even a returner, like me, knows that some gifts no matter how much we want to return them are non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gifts. I am fairly certain that I am not the only who has ever tried to find the escape clause in a non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gift. These gifts come in many shapes, sizes, forms, and every color imaginable.
Through the process of trying to return my non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gift I have gained a deeper understanding than I had before. I wanted to say learn but if I learned that non-refundable, non-exchangeable, non-returnable gifts can’t be returned would I keep trying to return them?
The first understanding that I have come to is said best by Anne, from Anne of Green Gables when she said, “I know the sun will go on raising and setting whether or not I fail geometry or not, that is true but is not especially comforting. I think I’d rather it didn’t go on if I failed!” Sometimes, the truth while true is not always comforting.
The second understanding I have come to that in spite of understanding number 1, it is good to be reminded of the truth.
The final understanding, at least to date so far, as I am waiting to return my gift is said best in Isaiah 40:31 “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.” It does not say when we wait on a thing; waiting on thing brings tiredness, discouragement and is an exercise in frustration. It is when we wait on the Lord that our strength will be renewed. The hard part about waiting on the Lord and not waiting on______ fill in the blank, is not just saying it but actually doing it and living it. I think this means the gift of waiting is mine for a while longer.
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