Several months ago I started to read an adoption discussion board. I was searching for others who were going through a similar experience and I thought maybe I could learn something. Well that is how it started anyway. Now it’s kind of like a train wreck, you don’t want to look but you can’t help it. I can’t seem to miss doing it. There have even been times when I have thought; “I should stop doing this” because reading it has made me more discouraged than encouraged. I have not posted anything or even joined in on the discussion. I am more of a lurker.
While I have been lurking, I have found those whom I agree with and those who I don’t. I have learned things. I been challenged but at the same time it has been well, rather discouraging. I mean there are times when I read that board and it seems as though there is no hope. There are no happy adoptions. The adoptive kids are deeply troubled, natural moms who are miserable and adoptive moms are all yucky. That’s when I think, “I should stop reading this.” But other times I think, “I should keep reading this because maybe I am missing something and this will help me.” After all, I don’t want to be an uneducated, ignorant adoptive parent. At the same time, I think I keep reading because I am looking for the hope in it all. It’s the same thing that keeps me watching a bad movie because I am certain that the movie has got to get better.
It is this very characteristic that is contributing to my current fascination with Rahab the prostitute, from the book of Joshua. I love that Rahab is not just Rahab; she has “the prostitute” attached to her name. What a thing to live with, being a prostitute. What I love most about Rahab is what happened to her later in her life. She is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. Matthew 1:5 says “Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz the father of Obed, whose mother was Ruth, Obed the father of Jesse,” When I read that verse I realized several things.
First, “the prostitute” part of her name is not mentioned. Second, she marries and has a son. Third, her son is Boaz, who is very important in the life of Ruth. Finally, Ruth and Boaz have a son Jesse, Rahab’s great grandson, who is the father of David.
To me that is very exciting stuff, Rahab who was a prostitute, marries, that in of itself is awesome. But not only does she marry but she also has a son who turns out be a pretty awesome guy. And, she is in the family tree of Jesus to boot. To me that is the ultimate story of hope. I mean If God can do that in her life surely he can do that in anyone life’s. Well I suppose anyone who lets HIM be in charge of his or her life, i.e. letting God be in control.
This where I come back to the adoption discussion blog, if God can do all of this in the life Rahab surely He can do similar things in adoptive families. Right!?
I realize that the redemption and transformation of Rahab’s life was not easy. This is not a fairy tale. There is no telling the amount of struggle, pain, difficulties, tears, and times I’m sure that Rahab thought, “Prostitution has to be better than this.” But, at the same time there is no mention of the joy, happiness, laughter, and love either. We see her beginning and her end. The middle of the story is well; it’s kind of missing. Of course without the Lord, Rahab would have never gotten to where she ended up, but other than that fact we have little else to help us see how Rahab got to where she got. Maybe if I knew her middle there would be times when part of her transformation story would be discouraging. HMMM maybe with these discussion boards I’m just getting too much of the middle of the story. I am not always aware of the beginnings, and I have not read many endings.
I had the idea that the road to parenthood and the process of actually being a parent is not an easy road for anyone. There are bumps; bruises and trails where it seems like you are the only one. The road to parenthood through adoption and being an adoptive parent, while well traveled, is not quite as heavily populated as other roads. This does not make the road any more difficult, just unique and there may be fewer who are able to be road guides.
So I’m wondering, while I have learned a lot on the discussion boards maybe these are not the road guides for me. Maybe they have different maps and I thought since we are all somewhere in the adoption process we all had the same map. Maybe they are my guides and I am just too much in the middle of my process to see that. This will be an interesting story to see the end of.
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