Words you don’t like to hear: a Dr. saying oh no, a pilot saying we will be okay without that. Add to my list now: “There is not much there” from the lady who is fingerprinting me as she is repeatedly trying to get a fingerprint that the computer would accept. To add insult to injury she said that immigration might have to have me get my fingerprints done a second time. But she could not do it now because we have to wait and see what immigration says once they see my fingerprints.
Seemingly this is not an end of the world kind of scenario. I can see that. It does have the potential to delay our ability to get an I171 form, which we must have, in order for our dossier to be complete.
So I am a bit worried about my fingerprints when I read something that added to my worry from one of the online forums I belong too about Ethiopia adoptions. Worry does not need much of an incubation time so soon worry, became what if, what if’s became fear, fear grew into freaking out. I so dislike when I allow my mind to go there. I can tell myself the truth, that God is control. But the thoughts about my circumstances keep trying to flood my mind. It can be such a challenge to practice what 2 Corinthians 10:5 says “…..we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”
I knew I needed reinforcements and I called in for some prayer support. I prayed seemingly non-stop. The worry and fear are still there I can feel them, but they are no longer consuming my thoughts. Right now, I am in control of them versus the other way around them controlling me. I think a better way to say it is I am giving up control and letting God be God instead of me trying to take God’s place.
“Easier said then done.” is what I told my friend on the phone today as she reminded me to trust God. She told me “I know that I am in the easier place right now, because I am not the one having to do it.” That is so true. Letting God be God and not trying to do it all on my own, or be my own savior is not always an easy task.
Today’s snafu reminded me how choosing to trust God is not a choice I make one time and I am done. It is a choice I have to make again, and again as difficult or less than ideal circumstances bombard me. Don’t get me wrong deciding to trust Christ as my savior that is a one-time decision. It is the day-to-day surrendering of my circumstances that I must choose to do over and over again.
I came across a definition of trusting God that I really like. It said, trusting God means NO MATTER WHAT believing that He can do whatever it takes to bring glory to His Name. That is what I want to do. I am choosing to believe that no matter what we will get our I171 form, even if it means that I have get my fingerprints re-done 47 times. Even if it means it take longer than I wish it would to get our I171 form. God is still God, He is trustworthy, He is in control and He is still good.
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