Gift or Giver

Have you ever read a page in a book and what is being written sticks with you? It continues to stick in your mind even though it has been a couple of days since you read it or you have read numerous other things. That’s exactly what happened to me. It happened when I was reading one of the devotions from Streams in the Deseret.

There have been many devotions from this book that have stuck with me. But this particular one started with talking about how it’s easy to worship when everything is going well and there is abundance. But when it all starts to fall apart will “our heart still sing”(pg 460)? It goes on to challenge if we are able to do this then we can “know that I desire not the gift but the Giver” (pg 460).

I have been thinking about that statement since I read it. Do I love God or do I love what God gives me? Or even what He can do for me? It is a challenging thought.

Of course, in mind I thought the answer was yes. But then I remembered Peter. Peter is one of the followers of Jesus. He tells Jesus that he would follow Him anywhere even if it meant going to prison or even his own death. Jesus was so kind to Peter. He told him that the very day Peter said those words that he would deny Him 3 times before the rooster crowed. Peter denied it; he was animate, no way Lord not going to happen. Yet we know that is not how it played out. The rooster crowed just after Peter claimed to not know Christ for the 3^rd time.

Now call me crazy, but I find comfort in that. Why? Well, it reminds me that we are all human. I mean if Peter who actually followed Jesus and witnessed all that He did can deny him. Well, then that gives me hope. Hope that if God used Peter in such a powerful way certainly He can use me.

Another reason I find it comforting is well Peter already denied Christ, so when I mess up I am not the first one. I am not the only one. I have not ruined everything. God can still work in and through me. Look at what how He used Peter. He called him his Rock.

In pride when I first read, “know that I desire not the gift but the Giver”, I thought of course I love God more than what He can give me. But then I remembered Peter. Peter who said one thing with his words in one set of circumstances and who lived out and said something different in another set of circumstances.

It may be easy in this moment right now when I am not faced with a prayer that has been answered no. To say yes, I love God for who is not what He gives. But when confronted with a prayer that has been answered no. Well that may be a different story.

Jeff and I are praying that we will be able to successfully adopt. If the answer is no, and we are never able to adopt will I still love God for who is? I pray that my answer will be yes. How about you if God says no, to a very important prayer maybe it is for more children, a better job, healing from a particular disease, less children, a house, or whatever it may be what would your answer be?