When you are in high school, considering college and what would be a good major, some people tell you that you need to study something you are interested in and something you really like, maybe even love. Obviously, the theory behind this advice is that you will be spending a lot of time studying this thing and it is always easier to study something you like. As I think about that now it’s funny to me because waiting is not a topic like. As I have discussed in previous blog posts, waiting is a mixed bag and most people would eagerly pass on waiting. Yet, here I am continuing to contemplate waiting. With as much time as I have spent pondering, thinking and contemplating, the topic of waiting I feel like I am in the process of getting my masters degree, in waiting.
Recently, I have been thinking about the connection of waiting and hope. I looked up one of my favorite verses about waiting Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” I found it interesting that the Hebrew word translated hope in the NIV means to wait, look for, hope, expect, to wait or look eagerly for. That is why if you look this verse up in KJV you would see wait instead of hope. This definition really got me thinking. Hope and waiting are really intertwined.
I wanted to look at another definition of hope, so I looked up another favorite verse Romans 4:18 “Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be.” When I looked up the meaning of hope in this verse the Greek word means expectation of evil, fear expectation of good, hope. I found this meaning fascinating. It has the negative and positive meaning. Crazy as it sounds this definition gave me hope. Because, I could see Abraham in the situation feeling both, expecting the worse and expecting the best.
On the one hand Abraham had to be looking at his circumstances, he and his wife were old, and he had to be thinking, “I know God promised my offspring will be like the stars, but how? Maybe it won’t be like I thought.” But, at the same time I can picture Abraham thinking, “We may be old, but God promised my offspring would be numerous like the stars. Having a son the way we did with Ishmael wasn’t it, we have to be having a son.”
I feel like hope and waiting sometimes collide. Because let’s be truthful when were waiting it is usually for positive things. We fear the awful thing, but we are waiting, hoping for the good. When was the last time someone said, “Yep, we are waiting for it to all fall apart and be terrible.” I haven’t heard that, I usually hear people say, “We are hoping for the best.”
I think CS Lewis had it spot on when he said, “We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be” I resonate with this quote even though I am uncertain of it’s meaning. To me this is saying we are hoping for the best but we know that it does not come without a cost. I guess I think of it like this Abraham and Sarah did have a son. They had the son they longed for and wanted, they had Isaac. They had to wait 25 years after God promised Abraham. It was on God’s timetable. Sometime I think we see that and think why did God do it that way? We don’t know. Sarah and Abraham did not know. They had to wait and hope. Worry would creep in and they had to remind themselves of the truth. Against all hope , in hope Abraham had to believe.
Waiting and hoping is not easy. I continue to learn that as I progress in this adoption journey. On the one hand I am like Abraham I expect the worst in this adoption journey that we won’t be able to adopt. That is not the Abraham I want to model. I want to model the expectation of good. My hope and prayer would be that against all hope in hope I will continue to believe.
No comments:
Post a Comment