To Speak Or Not To Speak

I should have seen it coming. On Saturday, I had the privilege to go and hear Beth Moore. I was excited. She introduced the topic she was going to focus on for the day. Proverbs 31:26 “She opens her mouth with wisdom and kindness is on her tongue” UM really? On her tongue is the law of a kindness? Oh dear, the Lord is doing it again. Having me run into the message of speaking kind or watching my words. Oh my, and I was praying that my focus would not be on waiting on our adoption. This not exactly what I had mind. J

All day Beth talked about kindness. Not just speaking kind but acting kind as well. While I was convicted, at the same time I was encouraged. As we left with her message fresh on my heart and mind, I committed to begin to implement these truths. Little did I know.

I arrived at church as I do most Sunday’s later than I had hoped. I went to sit down in the sanctuary prepared to worship. Then I see her. My kryptonite, if you will, when it comes to living out the law of kindness. I really don’t want to miss the sermon just because my kryptonite is there. I work to keep my focus and my eyes (literally) on the Lord and what is happening up front, not on who is around me. For most of the time I am able to shut out the fact that my kryptonite is near by. Even so, I can feel, I don’t know what to call it, something begin to rise within me.

By the end of the service this something, I think sin may be a good thing to call it, has almost consumed me. Everything in me wants to be unkind to them. I mean everything. I tell my friend next to me, who was at Beth Moore, to pray for me because everything in me wants to be unkind to this person.

The more I think about it, the more I feel I have “the right” to be unkind. I know that this feeling is a lie. After I combat that lie, another creeps in tempting me to plan my unkind words. I remember a pastor once speaking about people planning sin, and thinking, “I don’t do that.” I do believe planning the unkind, mean words to say to another qualifies as planning sin.

I had no idea that on the day after I commit to be kind there would be a test. I felt as though I have not had enough time with the material. I haven’t studied and I feel underprepared.

As those thought pass through my mind, I remember that I don’t have to do this on my own strength. I have the Lord’s strength and his secret weapon the Holy Spirit, if I choose to use them and let them be in control. The Lord does not expect me to do it on my own. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

Even in this truth the temptation is for me to take the credit, and think “Yes, aren’t I grand I withstood the temptation using the power of God.” The truth is I was given this power to withhold my planned unkind words NOT to bring glory or attention to me, but to bring glory my God.

People who know me, know that I could not do anything like that in of my own power. So if you ever see me walk away from an opportunity to use unkind words, remember it’s not me it’s Him who is in me. Thank you Lord!