It's a Wonderful Process

I never knew two people could talk so much about a convertor and adapter. My husband: “So what have the people you talked to said?” Me “Some didn’t take one and some did.” Husband: “So should we get this converter?”  Me: “Will it work in Ethiopia?” Husband: “I am not sure” Me “Do you think we should get it?” Husband “What have the people you have talked to said and did?” repeat cycle. I am verge of traveling half way around the world to meet our boys!!! We also will have our court date. Converter not yet. Immunizations check. Worry check. Fear check. A dose of truth to counteract the other two check. Excitement check check. Prayer check, check, check, check. It feels a little bit like I am on a cliff getting ready to jump off. Which is funny because that is how this whole adoptwaiting process has felt.

I know I have said adoptwaiting is making me crazy. Just the other day I started to think that adoptwaiting has made me free. Maybe even free to be crazy, oh and I do mean the good kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that said lets see if we can build a plane that people can fly places in. People said it couldn’t be done, its impossible, even called it crazy. People fly almost everywhere now.

I did not sign up for it to happen. I am not certain that I could even put words to or do justice describing the freedom I am talking about. I just know that somehow through this process I am different.

My husband was asking me if I have a timeline for our adoption. I do. We started in 2008. One of the devotions in Streams in the Desert talked about how Abraham waited 30 years for his promised son Isaac. God did not tell him it would be that long, because Abraham would not have been able to handle the truth. When there was only a few months left to wait did God reveal his promise. The writer reminds us that God is not even five minutes behind “the appointed time”. I am absolutely certain, that I would have quit if I knew then, that we would not be meeting our boys until June 2011. Exactly, 3 years from when we filled out our preliminary application to begin the adoption process.

The thing about God that I have learned is that you can’t plan, make happen or try to orchestrate circumstances into the lives we want or think we want. What God can do or is doing is so much better than I can hope or imagine. Knowing this to be true in the core of my being I still struggle with wanting to control or orchestrate circumstances.

I couldn’t imagine meeting any other boys then the two precious boys we are going to meet in a matter of days. If I were in charge I certainly would have orchestrated the circumstances quicker. No doubt in my mind. But the things I would have missed. The people I have met and the friendships that I have formed. The lessons learned not to mention the intimacy that I have gained in my relationship with the Lord. I can’t even list all of the things.

I think it would be a lot like the movie It’s a Wonderful Life. When he wished that he had never been born, he did not know all the lives that would be affected by that one change. I am sure I don’t even know all that I have gained through this process.

I am thankful for all the adoptwaiting process has brought into my life. That’s how I know I am crazy. Who would have ever thought in a million years I would say that.