I think the movie Click with Adam Sandler has a whole new meaning for me now. If you have not seen the movie Adams character receives a remote control that can rewind, pause and fast-forward his life. At first it seems cool, he fast-forwards through the things he does not like. He figures out that while he was skipping the parts he did not like he was actually missing out on his life.
I had an ah-ha moment just like that charterer. I have come to the same realization about adoption or adoptwaiting as I like to call it. I have been viewing adoption as a one-time event you show up for. You adopt children they come to their new home and you are their forever family; the end. I am quite certain I overlooked the fact that adoption, like many things in life is a process. The waiting, the paperwork, the training, more waiting, more paperwork, the home-study, the appointments to get more paperwork, more waiting, reading books, learning about another culture, mailing things, re-doing paper work, re-mailing, more waiting, appointments with different people to review paperwork, more waiting, meeting other families who have adopted. Did I mention paperwork and waiting? I realized that in just focusing on the end result of adoption I was missing the journey.
It is the journey that people remember. People remember the destination, but often they remember the process to get to the destination. When I think about mission trips, looking for a job, my wedding, even Christmas; I remember the journey to get there as much if not more than the “there” I was trying to get to.
Like in Click if I rush through the parts I don’t like in my life I am missing out on my life. I think it happens all the time. We say things like when I: finish school, get a new job, raise my kids, lose 10 pounds, get married whatever it might be then I will live my life. However, it is our life we missing if we do that. I knew this. I have always been a fan of not waiting to live to my life. Clearly, I forgot the same applies if I rush through my life. If I am so focused on the end, I miss the getting there part of my life.
In Click he fast-forwards through the parts he did not like. Sometimes I don’t fast-forward through the parts I don’t like I just complain about it. I thought this option was better because after all I am not skipping anything. I have learned that complaining can keep me from seeing the blessings that are happening even during the parts I don’t like.
It is with a new perspective that I view our adoptwaiting. I certainly don’t want to miss out on a single moment of the process. Does this mean I won’t want to rush ahead and be done yesterday? Does this mean I won’t complain? Will I stop calling it adoptwaiting? Probably not. I have always said that waiting is a gift, a complicated gift, but a gift nonetheless. Remembering that adoption is a journey not just a destination is another tool in my belt that hopefully, will help me to live out what I keep saying I believe.
