More Waitng and an Opportunity

At Last I left you we knew our LOA (letter of acceptance) was coming. And arrive it did. We had to check the box that we accept Mabel or don’t accept her and list the reason why. Its surreal checking a box saying you want your child. I could not help thinking how the Lord chose me. He chose me even though I am just a hot mess. And we chose Mabel even though we don’t know all that caring for her will entail. It was a humbling moment for me to sign that paper.

We then complete more papers. Filling out forms is a hobby of mine, Not really. J We have submitted our I800 for to immigration and are awaiting their approval that we can adopt Mabel and bring her home with us to the US. So are awaiting our I800 approval so, you guessed it, we can fill out more forms and wait some more. :) Thus why I call it adoptwaiting.

As I was waiting, trying to not let the freak out thoughts take control of my mind. The Lord brought this amazing opportunity into our laps. A precious friend who is also adopting from China offered to assist families who still having fundraising left to do. Through her walk with the Lord, the Lord has shown her how trusting Him is like getting in a hot air balloon. You are leaving what you thought was solid ground to get in basket going you don’t know where but the Lord does!!! They have t-shirts for men women and kids, jewelry and onesies all reminding us of the truth that it is the Lord who lifts us up. So for the entire month of May this family will donate whatever sales we generate for the whole month of May to help us bring Mabel home!! Important things to keep in mind while doing this that 1) items must be purchased through this link see below or we won't receive credit. 2) items will not be shipped until June. So If you are able please, please check out the website and/or share the link with others. We are thankful to have others who are sharing the journey with us!! 

By the power of His Hand: Hokanson Family Fundraiser

What's Happening?!

There are so many thing rattling around in mind I am not even sure I can get them down on paper. But I will certainly give it try.

We were DTC (dossier to China, which is 13 pieces of paper that says Jeff and I are fit to be parents) 2/13/15. Our SW, which is short for social worker, texted and told us we were LID (log in date, meaning China knows our dossier is there). One 3/11/15 we were notified that our dossier was in translation. On 4/9/15 we found out that our dossier was out of translation and in the process of the review (meaning that China was reviewing our paperwork to see if we could be matched with Mabel.) On 4/10/15 we found out we were matched with Mabel. That means that China has officially matched us with Mabel and is sending the paperwork to our adoption agency's office. The piece of paper that China is sending to our adoption agency is called LOA or letter of acceptance. Of course we want nothing more than for Mabel to be home. I have shed tears over missing her and the time that we have missed with her. I am excited at movement and getting closer to bringing Mabel home! Honestly, the day we found out that we were out of translation and in the review process I literally had lost the will in the waiting. I knew I wasn't done but I was done with waiting! Then we got the news and I was so excited!!! But at the same time and I know this next part sounds crazy, I was scared. Scared because we are not ready, worried because we will likely be flying to China at high season which equates to expensive tickets, worried if Mabel will like us. She may want parents but she has no experience being with a family. So even though she dreams of parents she dreams of the good things. She isn't thinking about leaving everything she has ever known. Or having to listen to strangers or having limits. The process of redemption which is what adoption is; is messy, complicated, painful,  and it takes a long time. I feel unready to start this again. I wanted to be further down the road. I wanted to have accomplished more in my own redemption process. So here I am excited and terrified and feeling super unprepared. You can imagine how that might produce anxiousness in someone cant you? :) I was talking with a friend about how we are going to have an adoption garage sale as a fundraiser and I was stressed. Where should we have it? When? How can I make it the best and raise money? I literally said to my friend "Should I trust God or try to plan?" Um What???? I was letting my anxiousness take over and it invited PRIDE over. My PRIDE doesn't need to be asked twice so I let my PRIDE was take over. And my PRIDE LIED and said I can do this. UGH. :( Yet, the Lord was so kind to me. I so love that about Him.  As I was reading 1 Peter 2:3 "now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." It struck me. I have tasted that the Lord is good, but I am living that? WOW! In the midst of all this God is good and in control. I am choosing to keep my eye on that. And I am sure I don't have to tell you all, it is Hard isnt it?!

So right now we are waiting for our LOA (letter of acceptance) to get to our agency. Once they get it they fed ex it to us to sign. We fed ex back to them. then we submit our I800 form with immigration. They say travel to China happens about 10 weeks from when you get your LOA. We still have about 9 "steps" to go until we get Mabel.

Our puzzle fundraiser has been awesome and we are so grateful and thankful to everyone who helped us to get Mabel home. All of our fees up until travel have been paid for!! The travel portion is the next big payment. To date we have sold 252 puzzle pieces and raised $2520. There are no words to describe how grateful and humbled we are to everyone who sacrificed to help us bring Mabel home! In addition to the puzzle pieces we had an awesome Tastefully Simple fundraiser. Coming up May 21, 22 and 23 we will have a garage sale fundraiser. If you were interested in helping or donating just let me know. Thankful for all of you who are a part of journey!

What Does DTC Mean Anyway??

I am always amused when people compare adoption to being pregnant. Mostly because pregnancy, in general, is 9 months or so give or take a few weeks, so one has a pretty good idea when their baby will make an appearance. Adoptwaiting is not always that specific. So when asked when we bring will Mabel home I am truly making up the answer because I genuinely am not sure. I have guidelines of course but those are often similar to trying to nail jello to the wall.

I open with this because I am excited to update everyone on our progress!!! We are closer to bringing Mabel home than we were a month ago! But at the same time I am not totally certain exactly when that homecoming will be. Hard for this recovering control freak, who chooses to worry about when that homecoming will be all to often. Sadly both of which I demonstrated these past weeks as I was waiting for DTC (dossier to China) If you want to know a bit more about dossiers you can read my blog about that here. A dossier is 13 pieces of paper that are signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed all saying we are capable of parents. We had PA (preliminary approval) from China saying yes we could adopt Mabel. We had a deadline of getting our dossier to China or DTC of Feb 18. We were down to the wire. 12 of our 13 papers were in the process of getting signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed. But we needed our I800a (immigration approval) from USCIS. Our fingerprint appointment was January 16. I think estimates for getting I800a approval after fingerprinting was 4 weeks. This was putting us dangerously close to missing our Feb 18 deadline. I wish I could say that I trusted in the Lord’s timing and did not worry but saying that would be a lie. When we got our I800a approval on January 26 I was elated, thankful, and bummed that I wasted any time worrying. Our I800a was sent off to be signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed. And we waited. I am not a newbie at adoptwaiting. I thought I had grown. I have 2 living testimonies to God’s faithfulness and timing in adoptwaiting with our precious boys. Yet, I struggled to keep my focus on Him and His timing. Last Friday I was driving to work listening to some of my favorite worship tunes and crying. Crying as I listen to worship music is a frequent occurrence for me so that is nothing new. I literally sang the words “The sun rises on His time” and was praising Him for this truth. I believed it. I did. Then 10 am came with no email from my social worker on if we were DTC or not. Worry reared its ugly head and instead of choosing faith I welcomed worry in. 1230 rolls around and I am may or may not have said this must be national don’t email Tracy back day. I owned my bad attitude. I love a faithful friend who tried to say that it had not been that long since I sent the email………..I was having none of that. 230 nothing. Nada. I start thinking its 330 for my agency (they are in Alabama). Its Friday if there is no news soon there will be nothing until Monday. And to top it all off China offices close starting Feb 18 for Chinese New Year. I texted said faithful friend to get an opinion on whether or not it would be impatient to email again since I hadn’t heard anything. I pushed send and my phone rang. Literally just like that and it was my social worker. She said I know the 3 letters you have been waiting to hear DTC!! As I always do with good news I reply. “Really?” J and she said Yes!!!! We made the deadline!!!!! What I love about this story is God’s faithfulness to my worrying and trying to be in control self. Even though seconds before the phone call I am literally worrying and trying to be in control. But that is how God, is faithful even though I am unfaithful.

So the next step? More waiting. We are waiting for LID (Logged in date) I have listed the steps and guestamate of how long each step is for your reading pleasure. J

As we wait we are preparing. Completing adoption training. We are continuing to sell puzzle pieces. We are blown away by everyone’s generosity. We have been able to pay all of our required fees thus far! Travel and all the fees that go with that are up next. I am so awed at God’s faithful provision for our adoption. I know He won’t stop now. In May or beginning of June we will be having a garage sale to raise funds. So if you have items that you were going to clear out during spring-cleaning please consider donating them to our “help bring Mable home garage sale”

China adoption process:

Home study completed (3-4 months)

I-800a application submitted with finalized home study to USCIS

Immigration approval received from USCIS.

Dossier documents certified/authenticated.

Dossier sent to China (DTC)

Log-in date received (LID) from CCCWA (Approximately 3-4 weeks after DTC)

Letter of Acceptance (LOA) received from China (Approximately 3 months after LID 

I800 paperwork submitted to USCIS.

800 provisional approval received. (Approximately 3 weeks after submission)

Information for visa sent by USCIS to National Visa Center. (NVC)

Information for visa cabled to the US Embassy in GZ by the NVC. (Approximately. 2 weeks after information sent by NBC to NVC)

Article 5 letter received. (Approximately 2 weeks from cabling)

Article 5 letter couriered to the CCCWA.

Travel Approval received from CCCWA (approx. 3-4 weeks from being received by CCCWA)

Apply for Consulate Appointment

Receive Consulate Appointment (Approximately 2 business days after application)

Travel (approximately 2 weeks after receiving TA)

The Happenings So Far

So life happend and I got a bit behind on updating my blog. Sometimes its hard to know where to start. First, I'm starting with my husbands perspective and his words on one of the things that has been happening:

There has been a bit of a delay in writing because of a divine appoinment. Learning to love these appoinments can sometimes be difficult in any season of life. When you have an adoptwaiting timeline to keep to keep too it can get tricky. Our appoinment came in the form of a precious little lady whose smile and demeanor melted all those who saw her. What a better way to get a lesson about how I am not in control. As many of you know we spent the winter and spring with a bundle of joy pitter pattering underneath our feet as we put on the foster care hat for a season. That bundle of joy was dropped back in our lives for a few weeks unexpectedly just a couple Fridays ago. We had to scramble to get diapers and baby stuff pulled together at a moments notice. The crazy thing is that we had just gotten rid of the last baby items we had the Saturday before. In hind sight It took me a couple days to readjust myself and truly take count of what an opportunity I had to love Christ through the loving of this little appointment what could be viewed as a distraction from MY plans. But was exactly where God needed us to be at that time.

Second, after much deliberation and debate in the Hokanson house we have arrived at a name for daughter. We are bing on the meaning behind the name in our house so that played a very big part on our choosing her name. When I first read the meaning I knew this was her name. That name is Mabel Grace. Mabel means loved or lovable and Grace meaning of course grace. We think it is perfect for our girl.

Third, we had our last home study visit! What does that mean you ask? Well it means that we get to wait two weeks for it to be written. Then we get to wait while both agencies agree that it says exactly what it needs to say. Then we wait for the State of Illinois to approve it. Then we can do several things. One thing is begin to apply for adoption grants. Second, begin working on our dossier. If you want to know more about that you can read here. And we get to work on our USCIS paperwork. This involves getting fingerprinted again which we are experts so that part should be easy. :) I have learned through this whole adoptwaiting process that apparently I have "bad" fingerprints. Meaning that my ridges are worn off so to speak so they are hard to get. Pray this is not the case when we have to drive to local USCIS office to get fingerprinted.

Fourth, we continue to add pieces in our puzzle. It is exciting. If you wonder what puzzle you can read about that here.

Finally, God continues to lead us in this adoptwaiting process. The way He has orchastrted each detail and provided for us were nothing short of awesome. As we were getting ready to be done with our home study, in a true adotpwaiting has made me crazy kind of way, I was fixing to have a major anxiety attack. Okay I wasn't fixing to do it I was doing it. I was working the numbers and thought I don't know how we are going to do this. And in spite of the fact that I know better, and in spite of the fact that I was not demonstrating trust in Him, God provided the exact amount needed so we can progress to next step. I just love how He does that and I know that He will keep doing that as we do what we need to, to bring Mabel home.

Jumping Through Hoops Should Be Considered Exercise

Since this is not my first adoptwaiting I was ready for the great paper chase they call a home study and submitting for LOI (AKA  letter of intent).  We needed medicals. Done. We needed to fill out finacial statements. Done. Background checks Not that easy. I thought you could call the local police and request one. I did this for our first adoption. But things had changed. 10 phone calls later; I wanted to commit a crime so I could get a my background checked. I didn't, in case your wondering.

I got our background checks back from our local county and I have a problem. You see back in 2010 I was speeding. Its true, I was. I got pulled over and much to my surprise I got a warning. No ticket. Yay. Except, I did not have my current insurance card with me in the car. I had insurance cards for the past two years for both cars but not my current card. Boo. Because of this the officer gave me a warning ticket. I had to go and show my insurance card at the station. Once I did that it would all be okay. I did just that and never thought about it again. Until I got my background check back. Our agency thought that did not look good to have this dismissed lack of insurance on there. So I needed to try to get a background check without traffic violations. I knew we would have to get fingerprinted for our home study but I needed a background check sooner than that.  So I went to get fingerprinted with a private agency. 5 days later I got exactly what I needed. The clear background check I expected the first time. When we met with our home study agency I learned I needed background checks with every state I lived in since I turned 18. Plus, they need to check the child abuse registry. Plus, I need to get a child abuse registry check from New Zealand since I lived there as well. I asked our social worker if my background would get dinged for getting checked so much. She said no. :)

I thought I was in the clear for hoop jumping for a moment. When our Lifeline social worker called me and said "Just to be on the safe side" I needed to get a psychological evaluation. What? How do you even do that? Imagine making the phone calls I made. "Hello, I am in the process of adoptwaiting and  I need to get a psychological evaluation. Do you do that?" Just saying that sounds crazy. Now I have always said adoptwaiting made me crazy. I guess now they needed proof this was true. :) I found someone who has done psychological evaluations for people who are adopting and made an appointment. I figured not passing would just mean she would not let me leave that day and that they would take me away in a white coat, right there. Thankfully, that did not happen. The best part about all of this is I am actually going to get a piece of paper that says I am "normal" and not crazy. Not everybody can say that.

Jumping though these hopes reminded me how many hoops I DONT have to jump through for so many other things in my life. It made me thankful. It also reminded me when our girl is home all this hoop jumping will make it easier to chase her around. But more importantly how it will be worth it in the end.

You have a blog?

It has been almost 3 years since I last blogged. 3 Years. What??? At times I can hardly believe it. At other times it takes my breathe away at how quickly the time has passed. I would love nothing more than to tell stories and catch you up on 3 years, but lets be honest I don't read all that and it would be about me.

On September 22, 2011 we arrived at the airport in Ethiopia and began to wait to have our luggage scanned only to have to our youngest announce that he had to "shint" which means pee in Amharic. I am sure you can imagine what non-Amharic speaking people thought "shint" sounded like and how we had numerous opportunities to hear both our boys tell us that loudly. But I digress,  after finding Jeff and our oldest son in line to check in for our flight our youngest decided it was an excellent time  to play a game of chase and he ran away from us. After successfully boarding the plane, we instructed the flight attendants that unless our hair was on fire and we were screaming help us please, you can just assume that our boys have pushed the button for you to come. And push buttons they did. In our seats, in the bathroom, and even in the car on the ride home. We arrived in the US on September 23, 2011. Then the real adventure began.

The boys were 2.5 and 6.5 when they came home. Today they are 5 and 9. A kindergartner and a third grader. Sometimes it is hard to believe they are the same boys. I can't even begun to summarize the past almost 3 years into a few short sentences. Suffice to say we have all grown, made mistakes and been stretched in amazing wonderful ways. All 4 of us have stories and scars to share about the past almost 3 years to be told another day.

So what are we doing now? Well I am glad you asked. While we were fostering(you read that right we are listened foster parents)(our experience fostering and the AWESOMELY WONDERFUL foster parents we met along the way is also part of stories for another day) so where was I?  It was in the middle of that process that we knew that we wanted to add to our family. It has always been in my heart to adopt to from China. One date night I shared this vision with Jeff and he said yes, what is the process and what do we need to do? Wow, what an answer to prayer that was! We both knew we wanted to adopt a waiting child. Truthfully, I was convinced that our 3 year old child was on a waiting list. We began researching China special needs program and agencies. I met some amazing people in the process who were a huge help to me in navigating the waters of the China special needs adoption process. And then we found our girl. She is precious! We made inquiries and discovered that we could move forward in the process to adopt her without our home study completed yet, because she is what they call special focus. Which means that we move through the adoption process a little bit backwards. So we did an abbreviated short version of a the paper chase (to read more about that click here) and submitted what they call LOI or letter of intent. We then wait for China to give us PA or preliminary approval. PA means that we are approved to adopt our girl. We have 6 months to complete our home study, immigration paper work, and get our dossier to China or DTC. Sounds easy right? :)I know better.

Because our girl is with Lifeline Children's Services and they don't have an office in Illinois that means we had to get a home study agency in Illinois. Which means we get to, key words GET TO, coordinate our adoptwaiting (my word for what adoption is a great opportunity to wait) process with not 1 but 2 agencies! I am certain that this will provide numerous opportunities to trust God, surrender to God and continue to grow in my control freak recovery program.

In short we are adoptwaiting a 5 year old girl with special needs from China. We would covet your prayers for her and for us as we walk through this process. Please also pray for the financing. We will need a huge amount of money in a very short amount time. Coming soon Team Hokanson's fundraising campaign Where 1 More = 1 Less.