Another Stone For Our Pile

Such a cool thing happened today I had to share!!

Just as way as reminder we are going to name our daughter Mabel because it means "loved" and we want Mabel to know how much she is loved and how much she was loved. And what happened today is a living example of this. But I get ahead of myself.

It has been 10 days since we submitted our I800 application to immigration so I emailed our immigration officer to check on our I800 approval. Our office replied quickly (yay) and reminded me that it takes10 BUSINESS days (not yay) until our application gets to her desk. I am not going to lie I was grumbling and copped a bad attitude. I am so thankful for a friend in the midst of waiting who helped me to see the good in my officers responses. So not long after my email convo with my immigration officer I got a Facebook message from another family who is also adopting through Lifeline. A family I have never met I might add. She told me how she just figured out that knew my daughter! For over a year she stared at my precious daughters face.  She advocated (which means she made other people aware of Mabel and her need for a family) and prayed every day for a year for Mabel. At that time Mabel was listed with another agency. She lost track of her; agencies are only able to keep files for a certain amount of time and then they go to another agency or they go back on what they call the ‘shared list” of all the waiting children if they are not matched with a family. She was glad to see her as one of Lifeline’s waiting kids because her family, which is us, could find her. It is so precious and sweet that this person prayed for Mabel to find a family. Seriously?!?!?! What a testimony to how much God cares for orphan’s and of His faithfulness!!!! It makes me cry happy tears of how awesome God is and how big His love is.................. I always say you cant make up the awesome ways God works and knits our lives with others. Only God could have us both adopting from Lifeline and that this person would take the time to message me. How quickly and easily I forget or choose to not think how God cares about the littlest details of our lives!! Mabel by the world’s account was just an orphan. Yet, God stirred someone to be moved to advocate and pray for her. Lord forgive me that not moments earlier I was all caught up in not getting our I800 approval and doubting your perfect timing because it is not my timing!. You care more than I that Mabel comes home to her family!! I was so excited about this today I couldn't wait to share it with you all!

By the power of His Hand: Hokanson Family Fundraiser

More Waitng and an Opportunity

At Last I left you we knew our LOA (letter of acceptance) was coming. And arrive it did. We had to check the box that we accept Mabel or don’t accept her and list the reason why. Its surreal checking a box saying you want your child. I could not help thinking how the Lord chose me. He chose me even though I am just a hot mess. And we chose Mabel even though we don’t know all that caring for her will entail. It was a humbling moment for me to sign that paper.

We then complete more papers. Filling out forms is a hobby of mine, Not really. J We have submitted our I800 for to immigration and are awaiting their approval that we can adopt Mabel and bring her home with us to the US. So are awaiting our I800 approval so, you guessed it, we can fill out more forms and wait some more. :) Thus why I call it adoptwaiting.

As I was waiting, trying to not let the freak out thoughts take control of my mind. The Lord brought this amazing opportunity into our laps. A precious friend who is also adopting from China offered to assist families who still having fundraising left to do. Through her walk with the Lord, the Lord has shown her how trusting Him is like getting in a hot air balloon. You are leaving what you thought was solid ground to get in basket going you don’t know where but the Lord does!!! They have t-shirts for men women and kids, jewelry and onesies all reminding us of the truth that it is the Lord who lifts us up. So for the entire month of May this family will donate whatever sales we generate for the whole month of May to help us bring Mabel home!! Important things to keep in mind while doing this that 1) items must be purchased through this link see below or we won't receive credit. 2) items will not be shipped until June. So If you are able please, please check out the website and/or share the link with others. We are thankful to have others who are sharing the journey with us!! 

By the power of His Hand: Hokanson Family Fundraiser

What's Happening?!

There are so many thing rattling around in mind I am not even sure I can get them down on paper. But I will certainly give it try.

We were DTC (dossier to China, which is 13 pieces of paper that says Jeff and I are fit to be parents) 2/13/15. Our SW, which is short for social worker, texted and told us we were LID (log in date, meaning China knows our dossier is there). One 3/11/15 we were notified that our dossier was in translation. On 4/9/15 we found out that our dossier was out of translation and in the process of the review (meaning that China was reviewing our paperwork to see if we could be matched with Mabel.) On 4/10/15 we found out we were matched with Mabel. That means that China has officially matched us with Mabel and is sending the paperwork to our adoption agency's office. The piece of paper that China is sending to our adoption agency is called LOA or letter of acceptance. Of course we want nothing more than for Mabel to be home. I have shed tears over missing her and the time that we have missed with her. I am excited at movement and getting closer to bringing Mabel home! Honestly, the day we found out that we were out of translation and in the review process I literally had lost the will in the waiting. I knew I wasn't done but I was done with waiting! Then we got the news and I was so excited!!! But at the same time and I know this next part sounds crazy, I was scared. Scared because we are not ready, worried because we will likely be flying to China at high season which equates to expensive tickets, worried if Mabel will like us. She may want parents but she has no experience being with a family. So even though she dreams of parents she dreams of the good things. She isn't thinking about leaving everything she has ever known. Or having to listen to strangers or having limits. The process of redemption which is what adoption is; is messy, complicated, painful,  and it takes a long time. I feel unready to start this again. I wanted to be further down the road. I wanted to have accomplished more in my own redemption process. So here I am excited and terrified and feeling super unprepared. You can imagine how that might produce anxiousness in someone cant you? :) I was talking with a friend about how we are going to have an adoption garage sale as a fundraiser and I was stressed. Where should we have it? When? How can I make it the best and raise money? I literally said to my friend "Should I trust God or try to plan?" Um What???? I was letting my anxiousness take over and it invited PRIDE over. My PRIDE doesn't need to be asked twice so I let my PRIDE was take over. And my PRIDE LIED and said I can do this. UGH. :( Yet, the Lord was so kind to me. I so love that about Him.  As I was reading 1 Peter 2:3 "now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." It struck me. I have tasted that the Lord is good, but I am living that? WOW! In the midst of all this God is good and in control. I am choosing to keep my eye on that. And I am sure I don't have to tell you all, it is Hard isnt it?!

So right now we are waiting for our LOA (letter of acceptance) to get to our agency. Once they get it they fed ex it to us to sign. We fed ex back to them. then we submit our I800 form with immigration. They say travel to China happens about 10 weeks from when you get your LOA. We still have about 9 "steps" to go until we get Mabel.

Our puzzle fundraiser has been awesome and we are so grateful and thankful to everyone who helped us to get Mabel home. All of our fees up until travel have been paid for!! The travel portion is the next big payment. To date we have sold 252 puzzle pieces and raised $2520. There are no words to describe how grateful and humbled we are to everyone who sacrificed to help us bring Mabel home! In addition to the puzzle pieces we had an awesome Tastefully Simple fundraiser. Coming up May 21, 22 and 23 we will have a garage sale fundraiser. If you were interested in helping or donating just let me know. Thankful for all of you who are a part of journey!

What Does DTC Mean Anyway??

I am always amused when people compare adoption to being pregnant. Mostly because pregnancy, in general, is 9 months or so give or take a few weeks, so one has a pretty good idea when their baby will make an appearance. Adoptwaiting is not always that specific. So when asked when we bring will Mabel home I am truly making up the answer because I genuinely am not sure. I have guidelines of course but those are often similar to trying to nail jello to the wall.

I open with this because I am excited to update everyone on our progress!!! We are closer to bringing Mabel home than we were a month ago! But at the same time I am not totally certain exactly when that homecoming will be. Hard for this recovering control freak, who chooses to worry about when that homecoming will be all to often. Sadly both of which I demonstrated these past weeks as I was waiting for DTC (dossier to China) If you want to know a bit more about dossiers you can read my blog about that here. A dossier is 13 pieces of paper that are signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed all saying we are capable of parents. We had PA (preliminary approval) from China saying yes we could adopt Mabel. We had a deadline of getting our dossier to China or DTC of Feb 18. We were down to the wire. 12 of our 13 papers were in the process of getting signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed. But we needed our I800a (immigration approval) from USCIS. Our fingerprint appointment was January 16. I think estimates for getting I800a approval after fingerprinting was 4 weeks. This was putting us dangerously close to missing our Feb 18 deadline. I wish I could say that I trusted in the Lord’s timing and did not worry but saying that would be a lie. When we got our I800a approval on January 26 I was elated, thankful, and bummed that I wasted any time worrying. Our I800a was sent off to be signed, notarized, authenticated and sealed. And we waited. I am not a newbie at adoptwaiting. I thought I had grown. I have 2 living testimonies to God’s faithfulness and timing in adoptwaiting with our precious boys. Yet, I struggled to keep my focus on Him and His timing. Last Friday I was driving to work listening to some of my favorite worship tunes and crying. Crying as I listen to worship music is a frequent occurrence for me so that is nothing new. I literally sang the words “The sun rises on His time” and was praising Him for this truth. I believed it. I did. Then 10 am came with no email from my social worker on if we were DTC or not. Worry reared its ugly head and instead of choosing faith I welcomed worry in. 1230 rolls around and I am may or may not have said this must be national don’t email Tracy back day. I owned my bad attitude. I love a faithful friend who tried to say that it had not been that long since I sent the email………..I was having none of that. 230 nothing. Nada. I start thinking its 330 for my agency (they are in Alabama). Its Friday if there is no news soon there will be nothing until Monday. And to top it all off China offices close starting Feb 18 for Chinese New Year. I texted said faithful friend to get an opinion on whether or not it would be impatient to email again since I hadn’t heard anything. I pushed send and my phone rang. Literally just like that and it was my social worker. She said I know the 3 letters you have been waiting to hear DTC!! As I always do with good news I reply. “Really?” J and she said Yes!!!! We made the deadline!!!!! What I love about this story is God’s faithfulness to my worrying and trying to be in control self. Even though seconds before the phone call I am literally worrying and trying to be in control. But that is how God, is faithful even though I am unfaithful.

So the next step? More waiting. We are waiting for LID (Logged in date) I have listed the steps and guestamate of how long each step is for your reading pleasure. J

As we wait we are preparing. Completing adoption training. We are continuing to sell puzzle pieces. We are blown away by everyone’s generosity. We have been able to pay all of our required fees thus far! Travel and all the fees that go with that are up next. I am so awed at God’s faithful provision for our adoption. I know He won’t stop now. In May or beginning of June we will be having a garage sale to raise funds. So if you have items that you were going to clear out during spring-cleaning please consider donating them to our “help bring Mable home garage sale”

China adoption process:

Home study completed (3-4 months)

I-800a application submitted with finalized home study to USCIS

Immigration approval received from USCIS.

Dossier documents certified/authenticated.

Dossier sent to China (DTC)

Log-in date received (LID) from CCCWA (Approximately 3-4 weeks after DTC)

Letter of Acceptance (LOA) received from China (Approximately 3 months after LID 

I800 paperwork submitted to USCIS.

800 provisional approval received. (Approximately 3 weeks after submission)

Information for visa sent by USCIS to National Visa Center. (NVC)

Information for visa cabled to the US Embassy in GZ by the NVC. (Approximately. 2 weeks after information sent by NBC to NVC)

Article 5 letter received. (Approximately 2 weeks from cabling)

Article 5 letter couriered to the CCCWA.

Travel Approval received from CCCWA (approx. 3-4 weeks from being received by CCCWA)

Apply for Consulate Appointment

Receive Consulate Appointment (Approximately 2 business days after application)

Travel (approximately 2 weeks after receiving TA)

But Then God

I'm sure you have all heard the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day “To me adoption or adoptwaiting, as I like to call it, is very similar. I get overwhelmed at thinking about the mounds of paper work, waiting, more papers, waiting, training, fingerprints, waiting, more paper work. Then there is cost. That can get  me really overwhelmed. That’s not quite right, let’s be honest, sometimes it makes me  downright anxious. The kind of anxious that feels like a person who follows me around. And waits for weak moments. Or the times I think I have to do it all or that I can even do it all. 

But then God. There is no other way to say it. Because He moves and does amazing wonderful things that get my focus off me and this process called adoptwaiting. And what I really love and find utterly amazing is even when I am  trying to control every aspect of our adoptwaiting and trust me I have spent way to much time trying to strategizing how I can make this happen. But then God moves and does something even though, at that moment  I am as far as I can be from trusting Him in our adoptwatiing process. And all I can sheepishly do is thank Him. 

Yet here I am standing on the edge of the cliff called control very close to jumping off. Crazy isn't it? Our last home study meeting was September 30, 2014. Our home study social worker said it would take about 2 weeks to get written and sent to our other agency so they can add any edits they want. Then it gets sent to the State of Illinois for approval. Foolishly, I believed 2 weeks. Today is November 5. To my knowledge our home study is not completed yet. Which means it hasn't been sent to our other agency. Nor has it has not been sent to the State for approval. Word on the street is the State of Illinois is behind in approving home studies. So we are easily weeks from this being done. Sigh. In the scheme of world hunger, war, sick kids,serious illness, and relationship issues I realize an undone home study is not a big deal. I also know in my head how God's timing is perfect. I really do. Trust me you don't need to send me verses on waiting or God's timing. :) I know that God is bigger than my adoptwaiting process. I know He is bigger than two agencies that have to agree and approve our home study. I know that He is bigger than the State of Illinois being behind on approving home studies. 

My head knows but then God. Today my heart is not so sure my head knows what it is talking about. :) But then my head remembered these encouraging words "For not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful. Amen to that!

The Happenings So Far

So life happend and I got a bit behind on updating my blog. Sometimes its hard to know where to start. First, I'm starting with my husbands perspective and his words on one of the things that has been happening:

There has been a bit of a delay in writing because of a divine appoinment. Learning to love these appoinments can sometimes be difficult in any season of life. When you have an adoptwaiting timeline to keep to keep too it can get tricky. Our appoinment came in the form of a precious little lady whose smile and demeanor melted all those who saw her. What a better way to get a lesson about how I am not in control. As many of you know we spent the winter and spring with a bundle of joy pitter pattering underneath our feet as we put on the foster care hat for a season. That bundle of joy was dropped back in our lives for a few weeks unexpectedly just a couple Fridays ago. We had to scramble to get diapers and baby stuff pulled together at a moments notice. The crazy thing is that we had just gotten rid of the last baby items we had the Saturday before. In hind sight It took me a couple days to readjust myself and truly take count of what an opportunity I had to love Christ through the loving of this little appointment what could be viewed as a distraction from MY plans. But was exactly where God needed us to be at that time.

Second, after much deliberation and debate in the Hokanson house we have arrived at a name for daughter. We are bing on the meaning behind the name in our house so that played a very big part on our choosing her name. When I first read the meaning I knew this was her name. That name is Mabel Grace. Mabel means loved or lovable and Grace meaning of course grace. We think it is perfect for our girl.

Third, we had our last home study visit! What does that mean you ask? Well it means that we get to wait two weeks for it to be written. Then we get to wait while both agencies agree that it says exactly what it needs to say. Then we wait for the State of Illinois to approve it. Then we can do several things. One thing is begin to apply for adoption grants. Second, begin working on our dossier. If you want to know more about that you can read here. And we get to work on our USCIS paperwork. This involves getting fingerprinted again which we are experts so that part should be easy. :) I have learned through this whole adoptwaiting process that apparently I have "bad" fingerprints. Meaning that my ridges are worn off so to speak so they are hard to get. Pray this is not the case when we have to drive to local USCIS office to get fingerprinted.

Fourth, we continue to add pieces in our puzzle. It is exciting. If you wonder what puzzle you can read about that here.

Finally, God continues to lead us in this adoptwaiting process. The way He has orchastrted each detail and provided for us were nothing short of awesome. As we were getting ready to be done with our home study, in a true adotpwaiting has made me crazy kind of way, I was fixing to have a major anxiety attack. Okay I wasn't fixing to do it I was doing it. I was working the numbers and thought I don't know how we are going to do this. And in spite of the fact that I know better, and in spite of the fact that I was not demonstrating trust in Him, God provided the exact amount needed so we can progress to next step. I just love how He does that and I know that He will keep doing that as we do what we need to, to bring Mabel home.

Putting Together a Puzzle

When we decided to do our puzzle fundraiser I did not think about what that really meant. If you have spent more than five minutes with me you know thats how I am. Quick to jump in. Then look and think HMMM how am I going to do this. So as I opened our 1000 piece puzzle i just stared at all the pieces. How are we going to start this putting this puzzle together? The answer is simple, 1 piece at a time. My wonderful husband said look for all the border pieces first. So I did. Then I had the boys double check me and look through the pieces I just looked at. They found more borders. Then the fun of trying to put together all the pieces we found. All of this so we could do what was behind all the puzzle endeavor.

Write the names of the precious peeps who bought a puzzle piece and are helping us bring home our missing piece. Every person who has shared or shares our story, is praying for us and encourages us in this adoptwating journey is precious to me and I am thankful for your help. Our story would not be complete without you! So far we have sold 95 pieces of our puzzle. It is exciting! We are awed and humbled by peoples willing to step with us in this journey. We are 95 pieces closer to brining home our missing piece. I wanted you to see our progress. The first is the side with everyones name. The second is of the picture of what the puzzle actually looks like.

If you are wondering what this whole puzzle thing is you can read the full blog here. The basics of how to become a part of our puzzle go like this

• Here's how it works: We have a 1000 piece puzzle; every piece is part of her/our story to bring her home
• Each piece is $10
• You may choose to be one piece of the puzzle or several pieces of the puzzle.
• You can click on our DONATE button which brings you Paypal or message/email/comment and to get my address so you can mail a check
• YOUR name will be written on the back of each piece you represent
• If you are willing please share our blog and link with others who might like to be piece of the puzzle.

So thankful for all you!